30 October 2001
Today I want to discuss creating a memorial to the victims of the 911 attacks on New York, Virginia, and Pennsylvania.
We should build a memorial to those to lost their lives in the 911 attacks. I have an idea.
I want to use our most powerful nuclear weapons to make a five mile wide smooth flat line running from east to west across Afghanistan. Let's put it where no one lives, right in the middle of nowhere. Warn anyone who is in the way that it will happen.
Then I want to make another swath five miles wide running from north to south, right through the same mountains. A cross, visible from space. A permanent memorial to those who lost their lives in those terrorist attacks.
If they piss us off too much, we'll put an interstate down the middle and line both sides with McDonald's, Home Depot, CostCo, Chili's, and any other piece of pop American culture that they want to try out over there.
And guys, could you double check your maps and try to miss the Red Cross warehouses?