Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple, When The Pawn

7 January, 2000

Hear me, men of earth.

The time has come to repent for your sins. Take back every bad thing you ever did to a woman or before too long you’ll be lying limp in your own hand. This is the most honest music I have heard in a long time -- I was punched in the stomach and kicked in the head. The women that you know will hear her message, and it’s only kisses on the cheek from now on. This girl is very brave, and if you aren’t ready to stand up for how you live around women, you may well be told to get away – get gone.

I don’t believe in the Easter bunny or Santa Claus, but I believe that Fiona really felt every emotion that I hear in the words and her voice on this album. I fell in love with her on every song and felt sorry for every bad thing I ever did to her. It took an hour before I realized that I didn’t do anything to her, that I never met her. It sure sounded like me and I felt guilty enough. I haven’t felt that bad about myself since Joni Mitchell and Court and Spark.

Fiona the Fair

I didn’t come to this understanding of Fiona Apple without being somewhere else first. I have the impression that Alanis Morrisette wonders why, if they can put a man on the moon, they can’t just put all of them there. I think that on the other extreme, Sheryl Crow sees a little good in all of us.

Fiona Apple, on the other hand, doesn’t sound to me like she’s at either extreme. She sounds … well, FAIR. Like she wants to see the good in men, like she’d really like to LIKE them, but some of them keep making it too hard. Okay, I’ve been a jerk before and I can understand that.

Oh, I don’t KNOW Fiona Apple. She takes a nice picture for the album. I’m hoping that her mouth doesn’t come unhinged enough to swallow a live pig like the gaping maw of Alanis Morrisette -- I keep remembering of the time we read Lord of the Flies in the 10^th grade every time I see that woman open her mouth. I’m hoping that Fiona Apple’s mouth looks like a normal person’s when she opens it. I’m hoping that she smiles a lot when she’s around me, too.

Is it a bird or a plane?

Okay, it’s got to be said, Fiona Apple doesn’t sound like an opera singer. She probably won’t be cast as Christine in The Phantom any time soon. Still, her voice is perfect. I wasn’t sure if it was a bird or just a paper bag. I tried to imagine how the songs would sound if Joni Mitchell were singing them and I’m sure that they would be nice but I don’t think that I would be as screwed up trying to apologize to the female race if the songs were too pretty.

Fiona says, "when I sing, I just concentrate on getting my point across. I just want to make a statement and make it right." Funny, that’s exactly what it sounded like to me.

Don’t Shoot Me

I admit that before I heard this album I knew nothing about Fiona Apple. As I listened to the songs, I became convinced that she was playing the piano. I was impressed with the harmonic complexity of the songs – it’s not your three chord major here – not one single song. I don’t think that you’ll see any singleton lounge act with a capo playing "Fast As You Can" at the Holiday Inn on the loop in Cincinnati.

Women singer-songwriter-pianists are not new. I can think of Joni Mitchell and Carole King right away. What I can’t think of is one who does the whole package any better. Or one who paralyzes me in the bright light from the guard tower when I’m trying to sneak past the fence.

But there’s more, on this album. The rhythms are jazz, rock, and ballad. The pace is fast and slow. I hear a lot of kinds of music here.

It’s a Trip

It’s been many years since I had a drink, but I started hallucinating right away when I heard this album. The lyrical images are breathtaking.

"Maybe some faith would do me good." 
"You’ll beat me with your bitter lies." 
"I’ve acquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake." 
"You got your game, made your shot, got away with a lot, but I’m not turned-on."

The girl is a stone poet, there’s not one better. The Fiona Apple website says it nicely, "naked emotion and profound artistry." The website suggests that you vote for your favorite song, but I really do like all 10 of them. Okay, I confess to liking Don Sweeney’s horns on "Paper Bag." Still, I’ve lived in several of these songs – I could make them my theme for days at a time.

The first lines of "Love Ridden" are uncanny –

"Love Ridden -- I’ve looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I’ve wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow."

It’s Not Over Yet

Fiona, they tell me that it’s all in my head, too. I get it. Sadly, I hear a consistent message that you and I are separated by a great void, that there’s always rejection or loneliness keeping us from connecting. Great. I can’t imagine how long I could stay interested in an album about happy balanced relationships between men and women – it wouldn’t be relevant to life here on earth.

"So for the time being, 
I’m being patient
And amidst this bitterness
If you’ll just consider this -- even if it don’t make sense
All the time – give it time."

I don’t think that this kid is out of feelings yet. Her musical depths are deeper than most. I would not be surprised if we haven’t just seen the opening shots in a long career that results in a better world for men and women to live together. It’s a warning shot in the war between the sexes, and I plan to surrender before the fighting gets ugly. I’m always trying to read behind the lines anyhow.

Hear me, men of earth. If you don’t have this album, go get it. Listen to it. Change your ways. The consequences are too dire to consider.

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Fiona Apple, When The Pawn

Hear me, men of earth.

Fiona the Fair

Is it a bird or a plane?

Don’t Shoot Me

It’s a Trip

It’s Not Over Yet